How To Stop Arguing – 9 Tips To Avoid Arguments ASAP
Want to know how to stop arguing? Here are the best 9 tips for successfully avoiding arguments ASAP. No more fighting from hereon!
Hey my friend,
If you are tired of fighting, join the club!
Life can be complex and challenging enough without having to face an unexpected argument.
But as humans, it is normal to argue from time to time.
At some point, we will all inevitably encounter situations where you want one thing and someone else wants another.
In such situations, the most preferably scenario would be to avoid an argument, right?
But how do you keep the peace without giving up what you want?
Good news – I am going to show you how!
You can use these strategies to avoid an argument while still gaining what’s important to you (aka a happy compromise):
HOW TO STOP ARGUING
TIP # 1 – Refrain from taking offense.
Let’s start with the obvious.
The easiest way to avoid an argument is to stop getting offended about every single little thing.
When you see that someone is getting bothered or fiery, remind yourself that the situation is most likely not about you – EVEN IF THEY WANT TO TAKE IT OUT ON YOU!
HOW TO STOP ARGUING
TIP # 2 – Listen and read between the lines.
Although it’s important to pay attention to what the other person is saying, it’s actually more critical to understand what they’re hoping to get across.
Sometimes a bit of guesswork may be required if their words appear to be cryptic.
- Consider this example: You’ve arrived late to a social event that you arranged with your neighbor. He’s upset because you were given the job of distributing name tags and he had no idea how you planned to do the job. He says in a loud, irritated voice, “Why didn’t you try harder to get here on time? I got stuck with everything!”
- In this illustration, recognize your neighbor doesn’t really want to know “why” you “didn’t try harder” to arrive on time. He doesn’t care to hear how you got held up or why you are running late. He instead wants you to acknowledge his feelings of distress about not knowing how to handle the situation. That’s all.
HOW TO STOP ARGUING
TIP # 3 – Acknowledge the other person’s feelings.
This is where it is important to acknowledge the other person’s feelings.
Making statements like, “I don’t blame you for feeling that way” or “I’d feel frustrated too if that happened to me” are likely to be appreciated by them.
Doing so shows that you’re listening to them, hearing their concerns and that you understand.
HOW TO STOP ARGUING
TIP # 4 – Avoid conveying strong emotions.
One of the best ways to avoid an argument is to refrain from letting your own emotions run rampant over you.
Just because someone else is upset doesn’t mean you have to be upset also.
Stay cool, calm and collected and more importantly, in control.
- Although you might find it necessary to respond in some way, keep in mind that objectivity is your friend here.
- Refrain from taking the other person’s emotions personally or to heart. People say all sorts of weird things they don’t really mean in the heat of the moment. Let it roll away from you like water off a duck’s back.
HOW TO STOP ARGUING
TIP # 5 – Respond rather than react.
Remember that in every situation you experience in life you have the choice to respond rather than react.
Responding happens with calmness and ease; reacting is when you let your fiery side get the better of you.
Take time to think through how you can appropriately respond in a challenging situation.
If you react too quickly to the other person’s emotions and comments, you might later regret your words or actions (happens WAY too often!)
- Instead, think how you can most fairly respond, even if you believe the other person is less than tactful.
- Just because you think you are right and he/she is wrong, doesn’t mean you have to have a big debate about it. You can instead agree to disagree.
HOW TO STOP ARGUING
TIP # 6 – Use appropriate voice tone and level.
After you’ve thought about your response, it’s time to state it using an even voice and mature (not condescending!) tone and low volume.
That is, no screaming required! Speaking loudly can escalate a conversation into an argument, before you even see it coming.
HOW TO STOP ARGUING
TIP # 7 – Take a cooling off period.
If you notice your frustration or anger levels are rapidly rising, the best option is to leave the room and take 5 or 10 minutes to formulate what you want to say.
Take plenty of deep breaths!
Feel free to let the other person know that you need to spend a few minutes thinking about this.
Don’t feel like to have to rush to say anything.
- FYI: I know I recommended taking timeout but this is not the same as storming out of the room, slamming the door, and muttering Sweet Jesus under your breath.
- Instead, take a deep breath and inform the other person you need a small break. Nip an argument in the bud by indicating you plan to step out for a few moments. And make sure to use this cooling off period to COOL OFF.
HOW TO STOP ARGUING
TIP # 8 – If you owe someone an apology, provide it.
A simple apology like, “I’m sorry I was late. I didn’t mean for that to happen” might be the simplest way to avoid an argument.
HOW TO STOP ARGUING
TIP # 9 – Offer a win-win solution.
The strategies above will help you cool down the situation rather than fanning the flames.
The goal is always to calm things down, help you think clearly, and open the door for ideas that you can both agree on.
Do you really want to argue?
I thought not!
So seek a resolution where you each get something you desire and you both walk away from the situation feeling happy and satisfied.
All in all, it isn’t actually too hard to keep from engaging in arguments.
Arguments require two people to participate so if you aren’t willing to engage, this is the easiest way to nip arguments in the bud ASAP.
So, do your best to review the above strategies to build your skills at communicating effectively in difficult situations.
Next time you find yourself in a heated situation, just know that avoiding arguments is a realistic and achievable goal.
I’m Frances Vidakovic – a mindset & action coach for quietly ambitious women who want to stop overthinking and finally take aligned action. I help women achieve their goals and follow through on what matters, without sacrificing their sanity or soul.