Why Kids Today Feel Entitled (And What Really Causes It)
Have you ever wondered what’s made some kids today feel so entitled – and who’s responsible for it?
I hesitated to write about this for a long time, partly because I suspected people wouldn’t love my opinion. Even I didn’t love admitting what I believed were the major contributors to this “problem,” especially knowing it threw me – and most modern parents – under the bus.
But first, let’s define entitlement:
Entitlement: “The feeling that one is inherently deserving of special privileges or treatment.”
It’s a confusing concept.
Are we talking about confident, empowered kids? Or bratty, cocky kids who think they’re better than everyone else?
All I know is this: when I grew up in the 70s and 80s, entitlement felt almost impossible.
We were raised to be seen, not heard. “No” was a complete sentence. “You get what you get and don’t get upset” wasn’t a cute rhyme – it was reality.
There were no participation trophies. No special mentions. One winner, full stop – even if the same kid won every year.
And if anyone acted superior, their own friends would’ve knocked them back down to earth instantly.
We didn’t question teachers.
Authority figures weren’t to be disrespected. No parents stormed into school demanding grade changes. If you got the wrong colour pencil (brown, anyone?) you sucked it up.
We learned early that life wasn’t always fair.
Fast forward a few decades, and now we’re talking about kids who confidently expect special treatment.
So what shifted? What’s happened between then and now to turn “I’d be lucky to have that” into “I deserve that – now”?
My intention isn’t to blame anyone. It’s simply to explore what’s changed – socially, culturally, and within families – that might contribute to entitlement today.
Quick sidenote:
a) Yes, this is a broad generalisation; entitled kids existed back then too.
b) Yes, lots of kids today don’t fit this description at all.
c) Entitlement isn’t a yes/no label – it’s a spectrum. Adults sit on it too.
Now, here’s my second confession:
The term “entitled” has a bad rap.
We use it as an insult, equating it with bratty, self-important behaviour.
But look at the definition again – believing you deserve fair treatment isn’t a bad thing. In fact, raising kids who know their worth and expect respect is something most parents want.
But there’s a fine line between:
A) Confident kids with healthy boundaries who don’t accept disrespect
and
B) Obnoxious kids who disrespect others because they think they’re superior
Group A makes us proud.
Group B makes us want to rewrite our entire parenting approach.
So how does a child cross that line?
Kids need to feel deserving to believe in possibilities – of opportunities, kindness, chances to grow, and their own potential. That part is good. Necessary, even.
But entitlement enters when deserving morphs into owed.
And here’s where I’ll be honest: I don’t consider my own kids entitled, but they do have expectations – expectations I helped create.
Why?
Because kids are impressionable.
They learn what’s “normal” based on what they repeatedly experience.
If your child wakes up every Christmas to a mountain of presents, they come to expect it.
If they get multiple birthday gifts or a “little surprise” every time you go to the shops, that becomes their baseline.
Kids don’t feel entitled by accident.
They feel entitled when life has taught them, over and over, that they get what they want.
And let’s be real – most parents give generously out of love. We want to give our kids what we didn’t have. We want life to feel magical.
But with generosity can come unintended consequences: over-indulgence, unrealistic expectations, and an inflated sense of what they “deserve.”
So pause and ask yourself:
What do your children believe they’re entitled to?
More screen time? New toys? Staying up late? Being listened to instantly? Never hearing “no”?
And if they believe this, is it because you’ve – intentionally or not – allowed or encouraged it?
Now add in today’s cultural environment.
Kids have grown up with instant access to everything – movies, answers, entertainment, food delivery, on-demand upgrades.
In the 70s and 80s, waiting was normal. Patience was baked into daily life: waiting for the weekend movie, waiting for photos to be developed, waiting in long lines because there was no alternative.
Today, instant gratification is just… normal. And with instant gratification often comes the belief that things should be easy, fast, and available.
That’s not a moral failing – it’s conditioning.
So yes, some kids feel entitled because they’ve been given a lot.
Some feel entitled because society now teaches them to expect more.
Some feel entitled simply because the world works differently today.
But entitlement is still preventable – and reversible.
What helps?
Teaching kids that:
- Everyone deserves respect
- Everyone deserves kindness
- Everyone deserves good things
- But no one deserves special treatment at the expense of someone else
You don’t need to tear others down to lift your child up.
You don’t need to teach them they’re “better” than another child to build confidence.
Because one child believing they alone deserve special treatment is the root of unhealthy entitlement.
So instead, repeat this truth often:
Every child is doing their best with the tools they have.
Every child has feelings.
Every child wants to be loved, valued, and understood.
And also:
You won’t get everything you want in life – and that’s okay.
Not everything will be easy – and that’s normal.
Life will teach you hard lessons – and we can prepare for them with resilience, humility, and compassion.
Spoiling children with material things isn’t necessary.
Spoiling them with unwavering love, clear boundaries, and truth about how life works is far more powerful.
There is beauty in raising grounded, humble, kind, emotionally resilient kids.
And how do they become that way?
The same way kids become entitled:
through what we model, what we teach, and what we repeat over and over with our words and actions.
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I’m Frances Vidakovic – a mindset & action coach for quietly ambitious women who want to stop overthinking and finally take aligned action.
In a nutshell, I help women achieve their goals and follow through on what matters, without sacrificing their sanity or soul.
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With love,
Frances xx
I’m Frances Vidakovic – a mindset & action coach for quietly ambitious women who want to stop overthinking and finally take aligned action. I help women achieve their goals and follow through on what matters, without sacrificing their sanity or soul.