Conflict About Family – 14 Tips For Minimizing Family Conflicts
Sick of all the conflict about family? Here are 14 tips to FINALLY minimize family conflicts so you can have a peaceful home.
Let’s chat about conflict about family.
I seriously don’t think there is a family on this plane that doesn’t experience some degree of conflict on a regular basis.
Family conflicts can vary day to day – they can be big or small and often escalate during times of change.
This is especially true when you have everyone home for an extended period of time, instead of the usual going to work and school routine.
Thankfully the good news is you can make your time at home more peaceful and enjoyable.
Try these 14 simple strategies for preventing and resolving family disputes.
Strategies for Preventing Family Conflicts
It’s natural to disagree even with those you love.
In fact, one of my favorite sayings in our home is LET’S JUST AGREE TO DISAGREE.
But there will be days when this saying seems to slip our minds.
On these days there are other steps we can take to keep conflicts from multiplying.
Try these techniques for fewer conflicts:
CONFLICT ABOUT FAMILY
TIP # 1 – Appreciate each other.
Deep down you know it’s true.
Your relationships matter more than any issue that could divide you.
We just need to remind ourselves of this fact on a regular basis.
Think about why you love each other and express your gratitude often.
CONFLICT ABOUT FAMILY
TIP # 2 – Establish priorities.
Ask yourself if any particular event is worth arguing about.
Do you really want to fight constantly about who left the toilet seat up?
Do you really want to lose it every day about that wet towel sitting on the floor?
We need to remember that it isn’t that thing that actually makes us angry but THE SPECIFIC THOUGHTS we are having about that thing.
A towel can’t make you angry.
A toilet seat can’t make you angry either.
It’s only YOUR THOUGHTS that you are CHOOSING to have that are impacting your feelings. Learn to pick your battles..
CONFLICT ABOUT FAMILY
TIP # 3 – Clarify boundaries.
It helps if you understand your own needs and limits when it comes to things.
Figure out the reasons behind the requests you make of others, so you can negotiate more effectively.
Why is it important to you?
Let others know how you wish to be treated and the consequences for crossing your boundaries.
CONFLICT ABOUT FAMILY
TIP # 4 – Schedule family meetings.
The more you talk, the less misunderstanding that will exist.
Make sure to keep communication open in your home so that everyone feels heard and can express their honest thoughts and feelings.
You may want to hold weekly family meetings or put aside time each day to give each other updates and cover important topics.
CONFLICT ABOUT FAMILY
TIP # 5 – Stick together.
Try to remember that your family unit is a team and teammates work best when they support each other.
Do what you can to share practical assistance, support, and encouragement with your kids.
Aim to find solutions that benefit your whole family instead of trying to score personal victories.
Strategies for Resolving Family Conflicts
The above tips are useful for preventing family conflicts but what if family members are already feuding with each other?
Keep in mind that settling conflicts constructively can actually draw you closer together.
Yep, it’s okay to have fights – that’s a part of life – as long as you eventually resolve them in a kind and fair manner.
Keep the following tips in mind:
CONFLICT ABOUT FAMILY
TIP # 6 – Stay calm.
Avoid saying anything in anger that you might regret later.
Words hurt and words sting.
They also have the potential to be used as a weapon.
In fact they have the potential to leave emotional wounds and invisible scars.
If you are seriously fuming, take a walk around the block if you need to cool down.
CONFLICT ABOUT FAMILY
TIP # 7 – Listen closely.
Let your family members know that you care about their opinions.
Do this by hearing them out without interrupting them.
Keep your eyes on their face and actually LISTEN.
Are you hearing their words?
You can also validate their feelings even if you disagree with their conclusions. Agree to disagree remember!
CONFLICT ABOUT FAMILY
TIP # 8 – Narrow your focus.
When it comes to resolving conflict, do your best to stay focused and stick to one subject at a time.
If someone is squabbling about the fair division of household chores, it’s completely irrelevant to mention who ate the last slice of pizza.
CONFLICT ABOUT FAMILY
TIP # 9 – Look ahead.
It helps to remember that this current conflict will not last forever.
In the near future, there will be something else we will be focused on.
So let go of past disappointments and resentments.
Focus on what positive changes you can make for your future together.
CONFLICT ABOUT FAMILY
TIP # 10 – Be specific.
If you are arguing about something specific, spell out your expectations.
You may think that cleaning a bedroom means dusting the top of the door.
Your teenage son may conversely think everything is fine as the neighbors aren’t mentioning any suspicious odors.
CONFLICT ABOUT FAMILY
TIP # 11 – Offer compromises.
Be flexible and creative about finding solutions that each family member can be comfortable with.
Living together usually requires some give and take.
Compromise is key!
CONFLICT ABOUT FAMILY
TIP # 12 – Sign a contract.
Do you find that you are having the same arguments week after week?
If that’s the case you may want to put your resolutions down in writing and ask each family member to sign off.
Keeping a record is likely to produce more compliance.
CONFLICT ABOUT FAMILY
TIP # 13 – Teach your children.
Parents sometimes worry about how children will be affected when they see family conflicts.
However, this can actually be a valuable opportunity for developing communication and relationship skills, as long as you provide a positive role model.
Conflict is normal remember but nasty fights where there is physical and emotional abuse is NOT – never, ever, ever!
CONFLICT ABOUT FAMILY
TIP # 14 – Consider counseling.
If you’re still finding it difficult to cooperate with each other, it may help to talk with an experienced and objective professional.
Never be afraid to ask for help!
Your family physician can guide you to therapists who specialize in family dynamics and this may be well worth the investment if it leads to more understanding and a happier home life.
In the end, family conflicts often stir up strong emotions and power struggles.
It’s because we love each other that it hurts so much more when we argue.
Do what you can then to protect your relationships because family is important.
You can usually restore harmony by treating each other with kindness and respect and implementing the strategies discussed in this blog post.
I sincerely wish you the best of luck with minimizing conflict in your family life.
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I’m Frances Vidakovic – a mindset & action coach for quietly ambitious women who want to stop overthinking and finally take aligned action. I help women achieve their goals and follow through on what matters, without sacrificing their sanity or soul.