Disappointed Kids – 13 Ways For Kids To Deal With Disappointment
Is your child disappointed? Disappointed kids need our support. Here are 13 ways to help your child deal with disappointment.
Let’s chat about disappointed kids.
Here’s the thing: disappointment is a normal part of life, and kids just as much as adults are prone to experiencing disappointment.
It’s also natural for parents to want to shield children from feeling crappy.
However, I want to invite you to consider the possibility that dealing with disappointment and loss can be a beneficial experience.
It is actually a human experience to feel disappointment and loss. We would be crazy to think that our kids could go through life without ever experiencing a negative emotion.
The sooner our kids learn to deal with these emotions effectively, rather than running away from or pretending they don’t exist, the sooner they will build up the tools they need to help process similar situations in the future.
Otherwise, there’s a good chance your kids may struggle to cope when they run into bigger letdowns as adults. So how can you guide your children without taking over?
Try these ideas for helping your kids to deal with disappointment.
Talking with Your Kids about Disappointment
Let’s start by understanding that there is a major difference between:
1 – Dwelling on disappointments,
2 – Trying to suppress them, and
3 – Dealing with them constructively.
Your child will probably find it easier to move on from something that is bothering them if they have the opportunity to talk about their feelings.
Try these techniques to talk with your kids about their disappointments:
DISAPPOINTED KIDS
TIP # 1 – Show empathy.
Help your child to accept their feelings.
Validate their experiences even if they’re different from your own.
Avoid saying anything that could sound judgmental or dismissive.
DISAPPOINTED KIDS
TIP # 2 – Ask questions.
Ensure that you understand what’s really bothering your child.
Maybe they’re concerned about how this unusual senior year will affect their college prospects or maybe they’re more focused on staying in touch with their friends.
What is it that is REALLY upsetting them?
DISAPPOINTED KIDS
TIP # 3 – Offer perspective.
The pandemic is a relatively small percentage of your lifetime, but it can be more overwhelming for someone under 18.
Let your kids know that at least some of the restrictions will be lifted eventually. If they are dealing disappointment unrelated to the pandemic, offer them alternative ways of looking at the situation.
What could this situation be teaching them?
What are the possible solutions to their problem?
How can they learn to sit with that feeling of disappointment without thinking it means anything about their worth or future?
Explain to them that this feeling is just a transient emotion that can and will eventually pass.
DISAPPOINTED KIDS
TIP # 4 – Be honest.
At the same time, you want to avoid making unrealistic promises to your kids.
Share truthful and age-appropriate information about the issues they are focused on.
What can you share with them that is both honest AND helpful?
DISAPPOINTED KIDS
TIP # 5 – Think positive.
It’s also important to remind yourself and your children that there are still many things to look forward to.
Try to be curious and hopeful about what the future holds in store.
I always like to imagine that things are happening for a reason and that it serves a higher purpose, even if it isn’t the most ideal situation.
What if this situation is helping me grow?
How is this situation possibly strengthening me?
What if it is helping me become who I need to become in the future to face even more difficult situations?
Other Coping Strategies to Help Your Kids Deal with Disappointment
Skillful communication will help relieve doubts and fears.
Then, you can work with your child on how to take concrete action.
Use these strategies:
DISAPPOINTED KIDS
TIP # 6 – Present choices.
Lack of control plays a big role in the distress that many children and adults feel today.
Help your child to develop their own daily routines and shift their attention toward activities that can boost their self-esteem.
We have free agency in life and we always, always have a choice!
Your kids may not realize this so make these choices clear to them.
DISAPPOINTED KIDS
TIP # 7 – Create substitutes.
Be creative about coming up with replacements for the things they’ve lost.
Host virtual birthday parties and playdates.
Visit art museums and planetariums online.
Come up with a backup plan that makes them feel as if all is not lost.
DISAPPOINTED KIDS
TIP # 8 – Reduce stress.
Teach your child to calm themselves down during moments of stress.
Depending on their age, they might want to cuddle a stuffed toy (if they are young) or listen to some relaxing music (if they are older).
Listening to music I love personally ALWAYS makes me feel better.
DISAPPOINTED KIDS
TIP # 9 – Manage expectations.
Hardships will be easier to bear if you help your kids build self-awareness and self-knowledge about themselves.
It’s okay for them to know they will make mistakes in life. It’s okay for them to know they aren’t perfect.
Encourage them to pursue their own goals rather than comparing themselves to others.
DISAPPOINTED KIDS
TIP # 10 – Band together.
Another advantage of hard times is the potential they have for creating social bonds.
Your child may feel closer to their classmates due to going through the same events together.
No matter what their situation is in life, there is always someone in this world who has experienced something similar.
At least one person – they are never, ever alone!
DISAPPOINTED KIDS
TIP # 11 – Help others.
On a broader level, reaching out to others in need usually makes us feel happier.
Look for ways to volunteer as a family in your community.
What can they do to help other people out?
DISAPPOINTED KIDS
TIP # 12 – Love unconditionally.
Disappointments can be especially uncomfortable if your child feels like they failed at something.
Reassure them that you love them regardless of how many times they mess up their room or get a bad grade.
Loving someone unconditionally means you love them NO MATTER WHAT, even if you feel annoyed or frustrated at them at times.
DISAPPOINTED KIDS
TIP # 13 – Show faith.
Your child is more likely to overcome any kind of disappointment if you express confidence in them.
Tell them you believe in them and praise them for their efforts.
Have faith in your kids, in yourself and in this world.
In the end, dealing with disappointments teaches children valuable lessons that will prepare them for adult life.
As a parent, it’s up to you to provide a loving role model while they develop their coping skills.
Take a look at how you deal with disappointment yourself. Is it effective?
Does it make you feel more positive and confident about the future?
It takes time to develop these coping skills well so do your best to be kind to both yourself and your kids during this process.
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I’m Frances Vidakovic – a mindset & action coach for quietly ambitious women who want to stop overthinking and finally take aligned action. I help women achieve their goals and follow through on what matters, without sacrificing their sanity or soul.