Empty Nest Syndrome – 10 Tips To Cope With An Empty Nest
Struggling with empty nest syndrome? Here are 10 tips for helping parents cope with empty nest syndrome (new beginnings!)
Let’s talk for a moment about empty nest syndrome.
For many of us, we think it is a day that will never come.
But then life surprises you by moving much quicker than you expect.
Even though my kids are now teens (15 and 17) I have started to observe that this is something that older parents struggle with, when their kids leave home.
And now I wonder, will I struggle too?
I know many of us have spent years dreaming of the time when we’d finally be free of kids and have the house to yourself.
But when that time finally arrives, there’s a good chance it will seriously take you by surprise.
Even worse, you may find that you don’t enjoy your new life as much as you thought you would.
Sigh…if that’s the case there’s a chance you might be suffering from Empty Nest Syndrome.
And don’t worry, if you feeling all the Empty Nest vibes you are not alone.
Let me explain why so many people struggle with this.
In the past, your kids were a huge part of your life.
A massive part, right?
In fact, they probably dominated all your decisions and actions and days (or at least a majority of that time).
And now, you’re going to have to find something else to do with that time!
Here’s how you can make the most of your post-child years with these strategies:
EMPTY NEST SYNDROME TIPS
1 – Schedule time to speak with your children.
Honestly the connection we feel with our kids for the most part happens inside our head.
We FEEL close by thinking thoughts that make us stay close to them.
But for the most part that is easy to do when your kids are in the house with you.
When they move out, it sometimes feels trickier!
That is why it is so important to stay in touch and thankfully it’s not too difficult to stay in touch these days.
Between the phone, all the apps like WhatsApp, Facetime, Messenger etc. it’s pretty easy to both speak to and see your child frequently enough (even if it is via Facetime!). So, set a time to talk at least once a week.
EMPTY NEST SYNDROME TIPS
2 – Reconnect with your spouse.
There’s a good chance your partner and you may have lost touch with each other to some extent over the last couple of decades.
I mean, it’s pretty easy to do when all your time is spent on the kids.
Sometimes all the romance and date night stuff take a backseat for a while in a marriage.
But that’s okay.
Back then there’s only so much time and energy to go around.
You now have the time to rediscover and appreciate each other more again.
EMPTY NEST SYNDROME TIPS
3 – Plan your free time.
Part of the reason for Empty Nest Syndrome is that we suddenly have so much free time without a purpose.
Want to know a good solution?
You need to make some plans to use that free time well.
In the past, you might have just plant yourself in front of the TV and enjoyed a little break.
But if you have hours of spare time up your sleeve now, you don’t want to spend that entire time sitting in front of a TV.
Seriously, you have too much free time for that now.
Do something fun, enjoyable or useful with that new free time.
It’s time to put on your thinking cap!
EMPTY NEST SYNDROME TIPS
4 – Get a hobby.
The later years are the PERFECT time to pursue a hobby or interest that you have been putting off before now.
You now FINALLY have the time to explore an interest you’ve been neglecting for so long.
Ask yourself: what have you always wanted to do, but lacked the time?
Here’s your chance to finally do something about it.
EMPTY NEST SYNDROME TIPS
5 – Focus your attention on something meaningful.
A hobby is something fun, but you might be searching for something more meaningful to do when your spare time.
After all, raising kids is meaningful and you might need to find a suitable replacement.
Maybe you’re passionate about helping the homeless, starting a charity or teaching underprivileged kids.
A few hours a week doing something important might help to fill the void you’re feeling.
EMPTY NEST SYNDROME TIPS
6 – Set a few goals.
If you know me well, then you know I love and am obsessed with goal-setting!
This stage in your life might be the perfect time to embrace a couple of exciting goals.
This can be an effective way to focus your mind on something other than the fact that your children are gone.
What would you like to accomplish over the next two months?
How about the next five years?
You’d better get started!
Dream big my friend and chase those goals.
EMPTY NEST SYNDROME TIPS
7 – Join a support group.
If you’re really struggling, there are support groups that can help.
Yes, there are!
Search Facebook for groups like The Empty Nesters Community.
It might be worth your time to check one out.
EMPTY NEST SYNDROME TIPS
8 – Rediscover yourself.
You’ve probably spent most of the last 20-plus years worrying about work, your kids, taking care of your home and everything other than YOU AND YOUR NEEDS.
If you haven’t set much time to focus on yourself before now, today might be the right time to begin rediscovering yourself.
You can do this by:
- Keeping a daily journal.
- Thinking about your values.
- Thinking about your goals.
- What else would you like to accomplish in your life?
- What is important to you?
EMPTY NEST SYNDROME TIPS
9 – Give yourself time.
It can take some time to deal with the fact that your children are gone (at least from the home – they will still always be your kids!).
Be patient with yourself and realize that it’s a process that will take time to adjust to.
Give yourself enough time to reconstruct your life and don’t be so hard on yourself my friend.
EMPTY NEST SYNDROME TIPS
10 – Reach out to your friends.
There’s a chance you may have neglected a few of your friendships over the last few years.
But that’s okay – you can rebuild them.
Now is the time to pick up the phone and ask someone out to dinner.
Begin the process of rebuilding your social network.
It may take time but it will be worth it.
All in all, empty nest syndrome is a common occurrence in those adults whose last child has recently left home.
But empty nest syndrome is a totally normal feeling that could also be construed to be a positive sign.
It’s a sign that you’re at a point in your life where you have the free time and financial resources to enjoy yourself and create a new life.
You have raised your kids well – three cheers to that!
This can also be considered to be a new beginning for you.
In many ways it is.
So, be sure to take full advantage of these years ahead of you as time is precious and it is up to you how you choose to use it.
I know it may feel hard in the beginning but just grant yourself some grace and know it usually takes time to adjust.
Much love and wishing you the best luck with this stage of your life,
Frances Vidakovic xxx
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I’m Frances Vidakovic – a mindset & action coach for quietly ambitious women who want to stop overthinking and finally take aligned action. I help women achieve their goals and follow through on what matters, without sacrificing their sanity or soul.