Abusing Social Media – Setting Ground Rules For Teens
If your teen is abusing social media here are the best ground rules you can set to help your teen limit social media usage.
Hey my friend,
Let’s chat about teens abusing social media.
I think we have all embraced the fact that social media is here to stay and also that teens and social media aren’t always the best mix.
If you have a teen – or two like I do – then you will be more than aware that, on average, teenagers spend A LOT of time on various social media platforms, to the point where it feels like they are wasting away their time on these platforms.
Cue: shock, horror, feelings of panic from parents.
Admittedly this does cause parents concern. Some are afraid that this habit of abusing social media will grow into an addiction, while others are concerned about cyber-bullying, over-sharing, and an “all-about-attention” attitude.
Technically this is a totally valid concern.
But whether we like it or not social media is here to stay for now so let’s consider the following questions:
- How do we know what our children are doing online?
- Is there a way to control our child’s behavior on social media, without invading their privacy and breaking their trust?
- How do we recognize if social media is negatively affecting our children?
This topic is definitely complicated, and there are no simple answers.
However, I think many parents treat social media as if it’s some evil ogre even though if you were ask your teen about the time they spend on social media, you might be surprised at how willing they are to talk about it.
You may actually discover social media isn’t currently posing the massive threat to them that we imagine it to be – or MAYBE IT IS.
You may still be wondering how to know which category you fall into and how you can safely explore your child’s life on social media.
The following solutions will help:
Abusing Social Media – Setting Ground Rules For Teens
1 – Dignify their devices.
If you want to limit your teen’s social media usage, avoid taking away their device. Crazy idea right?
But if you have ever done this yourself you will have found they often find another device to access social media. (It definitely doesn’t help that they require their laptops to do their homework and voila they can also access social media that way.)
Help them find effective ways to self-regulate, instead.
Fear of missing out often motivates the time spent on social media.
However, most teens are aware of the consequences this habit creates.
FOMO makes them feel anxious and stressed in a way that not caring about what others are up to doesn’t.
Encourage them to reflect on these consequences and focus on the impact social media overload has on their personal, academic, and other goals.
Is it really helping them academically and personally to be on social media?
How does it compare to real connections that they make with real people in the real world?
Abusing Social Media – Setting Ground Rules For Teens
2 – Ask about the apps.
Why not know what your teen is interested in spending their time on?
Ask your teen which apps they spend the most time on. Is it Instagram, Facebook, or perhaps Snapchat?
Once you find out, install those apps on your phone, too, and figure out how they work.
Some apps have geolocation which can pose a real danger. Try to manage your child’s social media activity by informing them of the danger rather than imposing your opinion.
Don’t just be a manager, be a mentor.
Abusing Social Media – Setting Ground Rules For Teens
3 – Help them to protect their privacy.
Talk about privacy settings on different social media accounts. Some teens are not aware of this option.
- Agree with them to accept only the followers and friends that they know personally.
- This is not an easy task for a teen because the number of followers is often the barometer of popularity.
- But hey. as adults we know these numbers are deceptive and do not measure the amount of true friendships we have to treasure.
- However, if they understand the necessity for well-managed online presence, this shouldn’t be a problem.
Abusing Social Media – Setting Ground Rules For Teens
4 – Talk about sexting.
Wow I know it’s a tough one but it needs to be done. Parents find the infamous conversation about “The Birds and the Bees” just as awkward as children do.
However, now you have another level to deal with – sexting.
- News alert (scary news alert in fact): Teens can often confuse sending explicit messages and photos for intimacy that might not exist.
- Talk about what it means to have a healthy relationship and how to develop and maintain one.
- I promise you – this is an important lesson that is better for them to learn sooner rather than too late in life.
Abusing Social Media – Setting Ground Rules For Teens
5 – Overcome social media prejudice.
Hey it has to be said – don’t be a hypocrite!
Many parents act as if social media is the worst thing in the world.
But funnily enough they are the ones spending hours attached to their phone. Sure maybe it’s in a different way but to your teen it is same-same.
We need to understand that social media is neither good nor bad per se.
It’s a new form of communication that we need to learn to manage well so that we can live a healthy, balanced life.
If you talk to your teens about social media from the standpoint that it’s a big, bad terrible thing, then there’s a good chance your teen will withhold and hide information.
Genuine curiosity and an open mind about your child’s interest in social media can make a significant difference.
Abusing Social Media – Setting Ground Rules For Teens
6 – Care about their emotions.
Teenagers want their opinions to be heard.
This especially goes for the things they’re passionate or angry about.
Social media offers instant feedback to their posts, which makes kids feel listened to, validated, and acknowledged.
However, if you offer real – not superficial – empathy for challenges your teen is facing, you can provide listening and validation inside of your family, too (rather than having them depend on social media for that gratification).
This will also give you an insight into what your teen posts on social media and an opportunity to help them self-filter.
When your teen asks you for the first time if they can open a social media account, avoid judging them or jumping to conclusions (like I did oops!).
Accept their need to engage in such community-based way of communication, talk about it, and help them build a safe profile.
Remember you at some point probably had that need too to connect with your peers but just had different options available.
Abusing Social Media – Setting Ground Rules For Teens
7 – Teach them how to protect themselves and what to expect.
You’ll never have all the information about their activity, but if you’re interested and understanding of their need to connect, you might get just the right amount. Here’s wishing the best to all parents of teens!
Before You Go…
- Grab your free gift: How To Stop Self-Sabotaging Yourself Guide (4 steps to finally get out of your own way) CLICK HERE
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- Listen to my Inspiring Mom Life podcast on Spotify or via Apple Podcasts.
With a degree in psychology, Frances Vidakovic is a certified life coach, course creator and host of the Inspiring Life Podcast. Her superpower is transforming dreamers into doers, with simple, kick-up-the-butt strategies.