Crab Mentality – 6 Glaring Signs To Watch Out For
Dealing with a crab mentality from others? Here are 6 glaring signs to watch out for how others hold you back.
Let’s chat about a crab mentality.
Crab mentality is defined as when a person’s tendency to pull down people around them who they consider are better than them in any aspect.
This is also known as crabs in a bucket mentality or the crab bucket effect because this is exactly what crabs try to do when one crab is already nearing its escape.
The other crab will drag the higher crab back down which is why the crab mentality is often referred to as the “if I can’t have it, neither can you” concept.
The thing that sucks most about this crab bucket analogy is that the whole group of crabs is destined and doomed to stay at the bottom of the bucket when they refuse to allow a few smarter crabs to escape.
In real life, this crab mentality is evident when other people hold you back in life.
Have you ever noticed that when you’re trying to change your life, other people feel the need to get in your way.
A few might actually believe they’re trying to help you, but news alert – they could actually be holding you back instead.
Truthfully speaking some people would much prefer you to stay just the way you are.
That way, they can feel comfortable about not improving themselves, too.
Sigh, but that’s not a good reason at all to hold yourself back right?
It is obviously super frustrating to discover that some people are more “frenemy” than kind BFF when you’re chasing your goals.
But such is life – you just need to work out how to manage it if you want to succeed.
Here are some telltale signs to watch out for when others might be trying to derail your success:
CRAB MENTALITY
SIGN # 1 – They point out your past failures.
Hey we are all human.
We all make mistakes – plenty of them over the course of our lifetime.
Some people in your life however will undoubtedly bring up those failures AGAIN and AGAIN in an attempt to sabotage your efforts.
Suppose you decide you want to climb all the 14,000-foot+ peaks in the US.
You might be reminded by a “friend” that you couldn’t even climb the 2,000-foot peak at summer camp.
They might even suggest that you come up with a more reasonable goal.
In a nutshell they want you to dream SMALL, rather than dream BIG.
CRAB MENTALITY
SIGN 2 – They try to make you feel guilty.
Guilt is another fantastic weapon they like to keep up their sleeve.
Sticking with our mountain climbing theme, you might be told that all that travel is expensive.
I mean, do you seriously want to waste your money on that?
Don’t you have more important things you should be spending your money on?
You might be told that you should be saving all the money for your child’s college education.
Or maybe you should put it against your mortgage.
Or maybe you should be spending all that time with your family instead.
Making you feel guilty is their end game.
CRAB MENTALITY
SIGN 3 – They try to distract you.
“Hey, forget the mountains. Let’s all go on a big vacation together instead.”
“Wouldn’t doing this instead with me be soooo much more fun?”
These are just a few of the less devious ways those around you might try to sabotage your efforts.
You may be wondering why someone you love would want to sabotage you in the first place?
I mean it doesn’t seem like a kind and supportive thing to do (and you’re right, it’s not!)
Though they might try to present it in a way that seems reasonable, let me assure you that keeping yourself small is NOT in your best interests.
There are several reasons why people close to you try to sabotage your efforts:
CRAB MENTALITY
REASON 4 – They want to stay comfortable with their mediocrity.
If you do something amazing, then try have to deal with the fact that they have not.
No one wants to feel like they’re losing the game of life.
Rather than deal with their own fears, insecurity, and laziness, it’s just easier and less work to hold you back.
CRAB MENTALITY
REASON 5 – Jealousy.
While there are some people that are genuinely happy to see you achieve success like reaching a financial goal, or losing 50 pounds, there are even more that are jealous.
They will either do what they can to stop you from trying and if that doesn’t work, they’ll attempt to diminish the value of your success.
- For example, “Oh, if I had all of your free time, I could easily lose 50 pounds, too.”
CRAB MENTALITY
REASON 6 – People don’t like change.
Here’s the thing: every relationship involves an exchange of some sort.
Just like you get something out of every relationship you have, so too does the other person.
If you both got nothing out of the relationship, then you probably wouldn’t associate with each other as much
That being said, if you change, then that threatens the status quo.
If you become something different, where does that leave them?
- It’s psychologically easier for them if you just stay the same. They will need to do some work to process the change in your relationship with them.
The solution is obviously to commit to being successful in spite of the objections of others.
Firstly you might want to consider removing the worst offenders from your life.
Life is hard enough without having your own friends and family trying to make it even harder, are you with me?
CRAB MENTALITY
Make sure to commit to your goals for the right reason.
Impressing others is obviously a shallow reason for doing something.
You need to do it for yourself.
Consider keeping your big goals to yourself if you think they are still fragile and need time to become stronger.
That way you will be protecting your dreams and you will receive less resistance from others at the same time.
In the end you need to choose what’s best for your life and just do it!
CRAB MENTALITY
Keep in mind that life is short and time is precious.
The time to chase your dreams and dream big is RIGHT NOW – not tomorrow, not a year from now, not when you feel like it.
Plus you definitely don’t need the approval of others to justify these goals.
They are yours so make sure to own them for yourself!
So just watch out for these signs for when others try to hold you back and know that these do not need to be reasons to stop you from chasing your dreams!
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I’m Frances Vidakovic – a mindset & action coach for quietly ambitious women who want to stop overthinking and finally take aligned action. I help women achieve their goals and follow through on what matters, without sacrificing their sanity or soul.