How To Be Happy Again – 9 Things You Need To Ditch For Joy
Want to know how to be happy again? Here are 9 things to give up if you want to embrace happiness and be happy again in life.
Let’s chat about how to be happy again.
Normally when it comes to happiness, people tend to think about the things they need to GAIN or RECEIVE in order to be happy.
But this blog post takes the opposite approach.
Here we will be talking about all the things you need to GIVE UP in order to bring more joy into your life.
Now it must be said: it’s not always easy to find happiness, but there are indeed some things we do that makes happiness even more unlikely to occur in our lives.
News alert: Happiness isn’t just about doing the right things.
Happiness is also about not doing the wrong things.
You might not even realize these things are sabotaging your chances for happiness so let’s take a deep look at this topic.
Here are 9 things you need to avoid (as they definitely keep happiness away):
HOW TO BE HAPPY AGAIN
TIP # 1 – Complaining
I love this quote by Robert Tew who said: complaining is a complete waste of one’s energy. Those who complain the most accomplish the least.
You know it’s true.
Complaining to yourself and others isn’t going to get you anywhere.
It wastes your time and puts your mind into a negative state.
How is that helpful?
If you’re not helping to make it right, then stop complaining about it being wrong.
- If you can resolve the issue, there’s no reason to complain.
- If you can’t resolve the issue, why waste your time and energy complaining?
HOW TO BE HAPPY AGAIN
TIP # 2 – Unrealistic goals
If your mother told you that you could be ANYTHING I hate to break your heart but she lied.
We can do lots of things but we can’t do everything.
There’s a good chance that if you are 45 or over, you have missed the boat on becoming a professional tennis or soccer player.
The odds of losing 50 pounds this month aren’t really in your favor either (but over a longer period of time, sure go for it!)
- This tip is not meant to squash your dreams. Please know I am all for chasing dreams (obsessed with chasing goals in fact) but it’s important that these goals are big yet realistic. They should stretch you out a lot but definitely not break your spirit.
- Do yourself a favor and set reasonable goals you can achieve in the next 2-3 months. You can then set more challenging goals once they have been attained.
HOW TO BE HAPPY AGAIN
TIP # 3 – Perfection
In case you haven’t worked this out yet from experience, you will never have the perfect day or do anything perfectly.
You can do things well but not perfectly because perfection doesn’t exist.
It’s really not easy to be happy when you expect things to be perfect 100% of the time.
Set your sights instead on consistent improvement.
This is an achievable goal, and you’ll feel great about yourself.
I repeat strive for continuous improvement and excellence instead of perfection.
HOW TO BE HAPPY AGAIN
TIP # 4 – The past
You cannot and never will master your future if you are a constant slave to your past.
Instead you need to learn what you can from your past and push forward.
Remember the past only exists in your mind and the longer you live in the past, the less future you have to enjoy.
You can thank your past for your lessons but after that, it’s time to move on and let it go.
Nothing that has happened in your past can stop you from planning a magical future in your present.
When your past calls you don’t need to answer.
Or when it taps you on the shoulders you don’t have to look back.
The future is your motivation now and you’re a different person today.
Dwelling on the past only blinds you to the future. Andrew Boyd
We are products of our past, but we don’t have to be prisoners of it. Rick Warren
We can draw lessons from the past, but we cannot live in it. Lyndon B. Johnson
My past has not defined me, destroyed me, deterred me, or defeated me; it has only strengthened me. Steve Maraboli
HOW TO BE HAPPY AGAIN
TIP # 5 – Comfort
If you feel the need to be comfortable all of the time, you will never be happy.
Why?
Because that’s an impossible request.
Or if your main priority in life is to avoid discomfort, happiness will also be elusive to you.
This is because growth occurs during times of discomfort.
Personal growth is an important part of happiness and yet discomfort is actually our teacher.
Fear, uncertainty and discomfort – these are all things we need to experience and move through in order to experience growth.
So we need to be willing to be comfortable with discomfort in order to grow and be happy.
HOW TO BE HAPPY AGAIN
TIP # 6 – The need to impress others
Sigh this is really a waste of our precious energy.
Some people try very hard to impress others but in the bargain they lose their own identity.
We spend far too much time worrying what others think about our clothes, car, job, and so on when the real truth is THEIR OPINION DOES NOT MATTER!
So stop trying to impress others with the things you own and begin inspiring them by the way you live.
In the end people will judge you anyway so don’t live your life impressing others. Live your life impressing yourself.
The desire to impress others is one of the worst forms of mental imprisonment. Robert Ringer
HOW TO BE HAPPY AGAIN
TIP # 7 – Negative self-talk
If you had someone in your life that just insulted, doubted, and undermined you all day long, how do you think that would impact you?
It would suck right?
You would wish they would just go away or try being nice for a change.
Now imagine if that person was living inside your head…what sort of impact would that have on you?
Take a moment now to think about how you talk to yourself.
Are you kind and loving, encouraging and forgiving, accepting and a cheerleader?
Or do you speak like one would expect their own worst enemy to speak?
What you tell yourself every day will either lift you up or tear you down.
Don’t be a victim of negative self-talk – remember you are listening. Bob Proctor
Your negative self-talk is like a virus that infects your self-esteem and self-confidence. Jerry Bruckner
HOW TO BE HAPPY AGAIN
TIP # 8 – Negative people
The quality of people in your life has an impact on your happiness so seek out positive people that support you.
At the very least, only include people in your life that don’t sabotage you or make you unhappy.
You know you have at least one right now.
Why?
Why do you still allow them to stick around?
Negative people generally have a problem for every solution.
Protect your spirit from contamination and limit your time with negative people.
Those who spend their time looking for faults in others usually spend no time correcting their own.
Don’t walk away from negative people – run! Mark Twain
Some people are like clouds. When they disappear it’s a beautiful day.
Cutting people out of your life doesn’t mean you hate them. It simply means you respect yourself. Not everyone is meant to stay.
HOW TO BE HAPPY AGAIN
TIP # 9 – Resistance to change
In order to be happy you also need to give up resistance to change?
Why?
Because life is full of change – it is inevitable.
To make progress, it’s important to embrace change.
You can do this by trying out new hobbies and learning new things or learning to GO WITH THE FLOW.
Here’s the truth: whether you like it or not, change is a part of life and it is constant.
You are getting older, time is passing, the seasons will change, your environment will transform and eventually people you love will die.
That is a fact of life.
You can either resist it or choose to accept it, adapt to it and learn how to benefit from these changes that are constant in life.
In the end, there are indeed habits that will make happiness less likely to come into your life.
Here in this post we identified 9 things that are possibly sabotaging your chances for happiness.
Take a look at the list and note anything that rung true for you.
Now instead of looking to do more of other stuff in life, consider doing less of these 9 negative things.
HOW TO BE HAPPY AGAIN
It’s time to be honest with yourself:
How happy are you (on a scale of 1 to 10) and are any of these 9 negative behaviors impacting your level of happiness right now?
If so it’s time to let them go!
Before You Go…
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With a degree in psychology, Frances Vidakovic is a certified life coach, course creator and host of the Inspiring Life Podcast. Her superpower is transforming dreamers into doers, with simple, kick-up-the-butt strategies.