Inner Peace Counseling – Secret Tips For Cultivating Calm
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One of my favorite emotions to intentionally cultivate is a sense of inner peace and calm.
Inner Peace…
I mean isn’t that what we’d all love to experience on a daily basis.
We want to feel calm rather than crazy.
We want to feel at peace rather than at war with everyone in this world.
The good news is it is far simpler to attain inner peace than many of our outer (material or physical) goals.
The bad news is that simple isn’t always easy.
But that’s okay.
I have your back.
The reason that attaining inner peace isn’t always easy because it means replacing old habits with new, and that requires dedicated commitment.
But you can do it and the benefits are absolutely worth the effort.
Inner peace gives you the ability to live your life with a sense of happiness, satisfaction and fulfillment which is not disturbed or influenced by outside events.
So how do you acquire it?
Well I’m so glad you asked.
You do it by living your life your own way, not how others think you should.
You do it by thinking thoughts of calm and peace.
INNER PEACE COUNSELING TIPS
Let’s start by addressing something important.
In order to embrace inner peace you need to ditch worrying about what others think of you.
Yes we all judge others (both positively and negatively) according to our own values.
But if we try to live our lives in a way which honours somebody else’s values rather than our own, we’ll always have a little gnawing discomfort going on deep inside.
So what are your values?
And are your words and actions in align with these values?
INNER PEACE COUNSELING TIPS
To experience inner peace, we also need to be able to forgive and to let go of guilt.
Yes it’s true.
You can’t feel peace inside if you are at war with everyone in your life.
You need to learn to forgive yourself and forgive others.
Here’s why:
Feeling guilty about past actions won’t change them and won’t make anybody feel any better (either you or the person whom you’ve hurt).
Feeling guilty is also a choice.
It comes from a thought that you have done something wrong.
But you can just decide to think a different story.
You can decide to think that whatever happened is the way it was exactly supposed to transpire.
Sure, do what you can to put things right, resolve to do better in the future and then move on.
INNER PEACE COUNSELING TIPS
Likewise, letting go of anger or grudges will bring about a surprising sense of peace.
Think about it – how does holding onto these negative emotions help you?
Seriously, does it feel good to feel angry?
Does it feel good to hold a grudge?
I mean, you’re thinking they are paying the price of this anger but guess who is really hurting?
It’s you my friend.
You are torturing yourself with your own thoughts.
Only YOU are hurt by the emotions raging through your body.
You are unfortunately the only person whom they can truly harm.
Now I have to say that yes, it can be very difficult to forgive someone who’s hurt you.
You feel like your anger is justified.
You have all the evidence to prove it is true.
But you can choose to embrace a different story.
You can choose to rewrite a story where you are the hero rather than the victim.
You can choose to believe all your experiences have worked for rather than against you.
They have given you wisdom.
They have given you strength.
They have taught you how to set boundaries in your life and so on.
Basically you get to decide what you want to think about your experiences and the best advice I have is to let things go.
I mean, how does it serve you to hold onto this pain?
If we are honest with ourselves, we would admit it does.
We literally have a choice here.
Once again, we have a choice to think differently about any circumstance in our life.
INNER PEACE COUNSELING TIPS
Here’s the cool thing about forgiveness.
When you begin to practice forgiveness and learn to loosen your grip on holding grudges, it gets easier over time.
And the best person to practice this skill with is YOURSELF.
Yes forgive yourself.
Grant yourself some grace to make mistakes.
Embrace all your flaws.
When you can shrug things off and not take things personally (it’s really about them, and not you at all), you’ll have a greater sense of inner peace.
Our happiness is also determined by how we think about the events in our lives, rather than by the events themselves.
I speak about the importance of thoughts ALL THE TIME.
Remember your thoughts impact your feelings which ultimately influence your actions and results.
So if you want to FEEL peaceful, you need to take charge of your thoughts and FEEL thoughts of inner peace.
If you want to feel calm, think thoughts of calm.
The same is true in reverse:
Think a thought that makes you feel angry and you will feel anger.
Think a thought that makes you feel overwhelmed and you will feel overwhelmed.
The correlation between our thoughts and feelings is so strong, it cannot be underestimated.
To achieve inner peace, you also need to let go of worry.
Hmm, another tricky one!
Worry is similar to guilt.
It feels so useful.
It feels like it is justified and as if we should be worried about our life and future.
But what we fail to remember is that worrying is actually a choice.
We can choose not to worry.
We can choose to have faith instead that everything will be fine.
And if it’s not fine, we can just decide that we are well-equipped to deal with anything that comes our way.
Worrying about what might or might not happen is completely unproductive, and totally destroys your ability to enjoy the present moment.
Remember: the present moment is all we really have.
So, how do we learn to let go of worries, guilt and anger?
Well, the first thing is to become consciously aware of what we’re thinking whenever we feel worried, guilty or angry.
What specific thoughts are generating these feelings for you?
I want you to notice what’s going on in your inner dialogue.
Acknowledge that it’s your thoughts about the external event that’s causing you to feel the way you do, and not the event itself.
Then do what you can to reframe your thoughts to reflect what’s going on around you in a more positive light.
Whenever you catch yourself thinking the old thought, I want you to banish it immediately and replace it with the new one.
“No-one can create negativity or stress within you. Only you can do that by virtue of how you process your world.” — Dr Wayne Dyer
All in all, this work may take a lot of practice but it is so worth it.
With patience and persistence you will eventually develop a lighter inner dialogue that promotes a feeling of well-being and inner peace.
Here’s to you having your inner peace and calm in your life.
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I’m Frances Vidakovic – a mindset & action coach for quietly ambitious women who want to stop overthinking and finally take aligned action. I help women achieve their goals and follow through on what matters, without sacrificing their sanity or soul.