Keeping Calm – 16 Tips To Stay Calm With Annoying Kids
Struggling with keeping calm when your kids drive you crazy? Here are 16 tips to help you stay calm and keep your cool.
Let’s chat about staying calm.
Struggling with keeping calm when your kids are driving you crazy? No worries! Here are 16 tips to help you stay calm and keep your cool.
Out of all the emotions that it’s possible to feel as a parent, I have to say that staying calm and at peace ranks there right at the top.
Staying calm is a state that helps protect your relationship with your child.
It’s also valuable when dealing with challenging situations.
Still, let’s be honest it can be tough staying calm when a situation makes your blood boil.
It can also be difficult to keep your cool around the clock (most of us lose our steam after a few hours of non-stop calmness).
That’s especially true when you face additional pressures such as work and keeping a house running smoothly.
So the question is:
How do you remain poised when your child throws a tantrum at the supermarket?
How is a parent supposed to react when their teen starts hanging out with a crowd that acts as if they’re auditioning for their own reality show?
You have a few possible options:
1 – Lose your sh#t
2 – Get vocal in a not-so-nice way
3 – Say things you later regret
4 – Fume silently inside
5 – Phone a friend for help
6 – OR STAY CALM.
Let me fill you in on a secret.
Option F is always the safest option to pick.
By remaining calm, you can make your family life more peaceful and cooperative.
You can also avoid escalating a situation by fanning the fire which just makes everything feel so much worse.
If you want to learn how to stay calmer and be calm, try out the following 16 tips:
Prevention Strategies for Staying Calm:
KEEPING CALM
TIP # 1 – Consider the reasons.
When a situation arises that makes you feel furious, take the time to think about what caused it.
Did you make the immediate assumption that your child is trying to undermine you?
In reality, your kids may be too young to think through any complicated actions.
Even older children may be more preoccupied with dealing with their own issues rather than intentionally opposing you.
KEEPING CALM
TIP # 2 – Make rules.
Many standoffs can be avoided by setting ground rules in advance.
For example, you may want to put forth a family technology contract instead of arguing about phone calls during each meal.
Decide in advance what you are willing to accept and make sure these boundaries are clear.
KEEPING CALM
TIP # 3 – Remove temptations.
Sometimes it’s easier to remove distractions altogether rather than leaving it out for your child to see and then getting annoyed that they were tempted to touch it.
Try to childproof your surroundings.
Put fragile items out of reach.
Lock the liquor cabinet.
If you don’t want your child touching it, keep it out of harm’s way.
KEEPING CALM
TIP # 4 – Supply distractions.
Be realistic about young attention spans.
We need to keep in mind that when our kids (and teens) are younger their attention span is not nearly as long as ours.
If you know you have a long list of errands to run, organize to do it on your own or in the early morning when stores are less crowded.
Bring toys and books along for long car rides.
Be prepared to offer them a distraction when their attention span is wearing thin.
KEEPING CALM
TIP # 5 – Step away.
Want to know the best thing you can do when you feel yourself becoming frustrated?
Take a break.
Pat yourself on the back for recognizing that you are feeling frustrated BEFORE you do or say something you later regret.
Take a deep breath or go for a walk around the block.
Count to 10.
Listen to a favorite song.
Remind yourself that everything will feel much better when you have calmed yourself down.
Communication Strategies for Staying Calm:
KEEPING CALM
TIP # 6 – Lower your voice.
Your child is more likely to listen if you speak softly.
Be firm but kind.
KEEPING CALM
TIP # 7 – Validate and empathize.
Try to see the situation from your child’s perspective even when you disagree.
Let them know that you care about their feelings.
KEEPING CALM
TIP # 8 – Keep it simple.
Use language that your child can understand.
Stick to one message at a time.
Don’t go off on a completely unrelated tangent where you suddenly talk about things that don’t even relate to the moment at hand.
KEEPING CALM
TIP # 9 – Focus on teaching.
Discipline is more about instruction than correction.
Ask yourself what is the REAL lesson you want your child to learn.
That they need to listen to you or that you are the boss?
Or maybe it’s about managing their emotions better and dealing with future situations in a more effective and appropriate manner?
KEEPING CALM
TIP # 10 – Repeat yourself.
Be prepared to go over the same material many times.
Consistency is the key here.
Repetition helps small children to feel secure and master new tasks.
KEEPING CALM
TIP # 11 – Encourage cooperation.
Remember you always have the option to work together as a team.
Ask your child to help you out and present them with choices.
Tell them you appreciate their setting the table when you have to work late.
KEEPING CALM
TIP # 12 – Laugh.
Humor can really help lighten things up when a situation is feeling tense.
Can you possibly see the humorous side of things?
Is the situation perhaps funny as opposed to the worst thing that’s ever happened in your life?
News alert – we often act this way as parents, as though an altercation is the beginning of World War 3.
It’s definitely okay to use laughter to diffuse a situation – just note that there is a difference between laughing with your kids and laughing AT your kids.
KEEPING CALM
TIP # 13 – Offer praise.
Notice the things your children do well.
Express your gratitude.
Tell them that you’re proud of them for studying hard and sharing their toys with their siblings.
Other Strategies for Staying Calm:
KEEPING CALM
TIP # 14 – Build bonds.
It is so much easier to handle mishaps if you have a strong and close relationship.
Remember trust and respect is something we need to EARN from people, including our kids.
Spend time with your kids one-on-one and as a family.
Share their interests and pay attention to what they have to say.
All they want to do is be heard – especially by someone who loves them too.
KEEPING CALM
TIP # 15 – Practice self-care.
You’ll also feel more stable and calm when you take care of yourself first.
Make sure to eat healthy, work out, and sleep well.
These are the three magical ingredients that make moms feel full of energy.
Ensure that your children are getting the same love for your bodies too – a healthy diet, healthy amount of movement and adequate sleep too.
KEEPING CALM
TIP # 16 – Seek professional help.
If you are really struggling with staying calm, a family therapist can provide you with additional coping strategies.
Don’t be afraid to ask for help if you need it!
Ask your doctor or trusted friends for referrals.
In the end, we need to understand that our kids will continue to do things that annoy or frustrate us.
Your kids will still lose their backpacks, leave their rooms messy and share embarrassing information with others at times.
But what matters more than the action itself is HOW YOU REACT TO IT!
Will you keep calm or lose control?
The truth is while we can’t control our kid’s thoughts, feelings and actions, what we CAN control is our reaction to their behavior.
Thankfully some skillful planning and communication can help to minimize conflicts and help you to collaborate with your child during stressful times – rather than work against them.
One of the best lessons you can learn in life is to master how to remain calm.
Everything will come to you at the right time so be patient and trust in the process.
Staying calm is admittedly not always easy but it is worth practicing as parenting is much easier and more effective when you can stay calm.
You will come across obstacles in life – fair and unfair.
And you will discover, time and time again, that what matters most is not what these obstacles are but how we see them, how we react to them, and whether we keep our composure.
You will learn that this reaction determines how successful we will be in overcoming or possibly thriving because of them.
Where one person sees a crisis, another can see opportunity, where one is blinded by success, another sees reality with ruthless objectivity.
Where one loses control of emotions, another can remain calm.
– Ryan Holiday
Wishing you much love,
Frances Vidakovic xxx
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I’m Frances Vidakovic – a mindset & action coach for quietly ambitious women who want to stop overthinking and finally take aligned action. I help women achieve their goals and follow through on what matters, without sacrificing their sanity or soul.
