Scared Of Life – Do It Anyway Because Fear Never Goes Away
Are you feeling scared of life? Here’s why it’s normal and you should do it anyway because that fear NEVER goes away.
Let’s have a conversation today about feeling scared of life.
Now that I’ve introduced private coaching back in my business in the form of my 1:1 coaching program THE DREAMING TO DOING COACHING EXPERIENCE I want to acknowledge the many people who are interested in this coaching program but have lots of thoughts that are holding them back.
Thoughts like:
Ooh I want to do it but I’m scared. I’m too scared to do something different, I’m too scared to make this investment in myself, I’m too scared to show up and do the work.
Put simply: fear is holding me back and it’s 100% the primary emotion that’s coming up for me whenever I think of doing something new.
SCARED OF LIFE
I wanted to speak to anyone who has these feelings of fear pop up whenever you think about doing something new, in particular investing in coaching.
The first thing I have to say about this is that feeling scared is totally normal whenever you are stepping outside your comfort zone.
I should note that for many years I never experienced these intense feelings of fear when I was living comfortably inside my comfort zone but guess why that was the case?
Because I was living inside my comfort zone.
SCARED OF LIFE
Inside our comfort zone we avoid taking actions that make us feel exposed, scared, vulnerable and may potentially lead to failure.
Even though it was in some ways nice not to have to feel all those uncomfortable feelings, the truth is there was no real personal growth happening during that time when I was staying stuck, doing nothing new and failing to stretch myself.
Inside my comfort zone, my dreams and goals weren’t being fulfilled or reached. New ideas weren’t being born and acted upon.
I wasn’t challenging myself to reach my potential and to be honest, I didn’t even know what my potential was during those years.
This lack of action and intentional avoidance of fear meant I was staying in the exact same place in life…
Nothing new happening, nothing amazing being brought to life and I lived this way for years until the reality of the situation hit me…
I could easily cruise through my entire life like this.
I could make it to age 80 with the days repeating over and over again like a broken record and those days would become months and those months would easily become years.
But of course one day when the pain of staying stuck became too great for me to handle .
This specifically happened at age 40 to me, I knew that the pain of stepping outside my comfort zone was preferable to me over the pain of regret and disappointment.
Of course I didn’t love this idea of facing my fears but I kept in the forefront of my mind this quote by George Addair who said: everything you’ve ever wanted is on the other side of fear.
I wondered what if this was true?
What if the only way that I would ever achieve my goals was if I was willing to be scared and do it anyway?
This is where I share with you the potentially not-so-great news that comes from almost five years of me actively stepping outside my comfort zone – the fear never really goes away.
It doesn’t.
SCARED OF LIFE
Every single time I do something new or something that requires me to step on centre stage I get those weird feelings in my body again.
It’s like an anxious feeling swirling around in the pit of my stomach…
The same feeling that I had when I walked down the aisle on my wedding day and took home my babies from the hospital and quit my first job to start my own business – those feelings still come up for me today, whenever I prepare to coach a new client or do a guest talk or launch a new course or really do anything new.
But this feeling of fear is always mixed with hope and excitement.
Did you know that when you experience fear, your body experiences the same physiological symptoms and sensations as it does when it is excited?
For example, in both cases your hypothalamus is activated, your breathing and heart rate increases, your pupils become dilated, and your palms become sweaty.
Knowing this – that the way our bodies react to both fear and excitement are the same – I’ve decided to use this information to my advantage and I’ve found a super simple way to redirect my brain to focus on a more positive emotion…
I just tell myself I’m also excited.
SCARED OF LIFE
Sure the fear is still lingering there….
I haven’t ever been able to kid myself that the fear doesn’t exist for me…because I know it does but there’s also excitement there too.
I’m excited to become someone who is brave enough to face her fears. I’m excited about what is on the other side of that fear.
I’m excited to see what comes out of this experience.
Honestly the moment I’m actually DOING THE THING, the moment I’m no longer standing on top of that cliff, contemplating taking that jump into the water and instead I’m flying down, actually living it, doing it, all the fear miraculously disappears.
The reason I share this with you is because if you’re sitting there waiting for the fear to disappear before you take action, before you start a new business, before you leave an unhealthy relationship, before you partner with a life coach, before you take a risk and step outside your comfort zone, you will be waiting a very, very, very long time, probably forever.
Because I promise you, I tested it out myself…
Before I became someone who was not just a dreamer but a doer, the fear was there and now that I’m definitely a productive doer the fear is still lurking there in the shadows.
I know that I have used this analogy before but it’s worth mentioning here again.
SCARED OF LIFE
I encourage you to feel the fear and do it anyway and to feel scared and take action because I know from firsthand experience that fear will always, always, always be a passenger in the car with us as we journey through our life.
I know that it would be great if we could get rid of it all together…
If we could just toss it out of the window and watch it flailing around in the distance, skittering away with the wind, but nope there’s no way that we can just toss it away.
I want you to imagine that it’s much like your skin, it’s there with you all the time.
Here’s where I want to remind you that you can become friends with it just like we may have been forced to humor some of the more interesting characters in our family and friendship circle.
FEELING SCARED
It’s there in the car with us, sitting there in the passenger seat, always voicing its strong opinion about what we should or shouldn’t do, about where we should go or let’s be honest, where we shouldn’t go.
If we actually listened to our fears and let them dominate our actions, we would forever be sitting there inside our garage, not even feeling brave enough to press our fingers on the garage remote to open the car.
But you need to remember who is in the driver’s seat of that car.
It’s you, always you.
If you want to take on a life coach, do it knowing that it will feel a little scary even pressing that button to request a session.
If you want to chase a goal, do it knowing that the fear will be your constant companion.
But know that you can see this as a positive thing rather than a negative thing.
SCARED OF LIFE
I see fear as a sign that signals exactly what I should be doing rather than not doing in my life.
If I feel a little scared about the prospect of taking an action, I think….oh maybe it’s because everything I want is on the other side of that fear.
If you imagine that you are right now standing on the edge of a forest and your goal is on the other side of it, the only way to get to that goal is by setting off on that walk, taking baby step by baby step, always tapping into your courage and also your faith that you have the strength to make it through to the other side, and that you can surmount any obstacle that you meet along the way.
The one big takeaway I want you to walk away with after listening to this episode is that nothing has gone wrong when you feel scared…
You are instead just a normal human with a normal human brain.
If the idea of taking on a life coach sounds exciting to you and I sound like someone you would get along with really well, I would absolutely love to work with you and help transform your life from ordinary to extraordinary.
Yes it may feel a little scary, taking this leap, making this investment but you will do it knowing that you have me in your corner, supporting and guiding you every step of the way.
As always you know I love and appreciate you all.
Take care and until next time, dream big my friend.
Much love, Frances Vidakovic xxx
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Before You Go…
– See my EVERYTHING PAGE and grab a free gift > HERE
– Get instant access to EVERY COURSE I’ve ever created > HERE
– Listen to my INSPIRING LIFE PODCAST on Spotify or via Apple Podcasts.
– Or for biz owners, listen to LIFE COACH FOR BIZ MOMS Podcast on Spotify or Apple Podcasts.
I’m Frances Vidakovic – a mindset & action coach for quietly ambitious women who want to stop overthinking and finally take aligned action. I help women achieve their goals and follow through on what matters, without sacrificing their sanity or soul.