How To Control Anger – 7 Ways To Cope With Anger Strikes
Want to know how to control anger in your life? Here are 7 ways to cope when anger strikes and how to calm yourself down quickly.
Let’s chat about how to control anger.
Having a healthy, well-balanced mindset is crucial to living a life you love. But you knew that already right?
Only problem is many of us allow our emotions to get the best of us when it would serve us better to stay level-headed and calm.
The reason why anger isn’t the most positive reaction to have when dealing with experiences is because it often causes us to make hasty decisions that we later regret.
Plus it just feels plain bad! Now of course reacting angrily to infuriating situations is a natural response. But the anger we are speaking about here is when it isn’t the EXPECTED response.
It’s when your anger is usually over the top or extreme for the situation at hand.
It’s when you are burning because your child chews with his or her mouth open.
It’s when a paper jams in the printer or your husband takes too long to get ready or the neighborhood children are too loud and these are all catalysts to an unnecessary outburst of anger.
The good news is that you can conquer your anger!
You can learn alternative measures of stress relief so that you aren’t destined for a life of unnecessary raging!
Even better you can strengthen your relationship with your spouse and children by letting that anger go.
And you can learn how to free yourself from the all-consuming anger that affects your life in so many unnecessary ways.
Here are some strategies that will help you overcome your anger:
HOW TO CONTROL ANGER
TIP 1 – Detach from the situation.
If you’re in a situation where your blood is beginning to boil, you always have the option to excuse yourself from the room.
Grab a bottle of water, get some fresh air, or even call a friend to vent.
Allowing yourself a few minutes to strategize an amicable approach to the challenge will enable you to strive for peacekeeping.
Remember you don’t need to stick around if the situation will keep you feeling fired up but retreat at a normal pace – no storming out like a crazy person.
HOW TO CONTROL ANGER
TIP 2 – Put yourself in his or her shoes.
Arguments with your partner can often get out of hand if you let anger get the best of you.
Before you blurt out a vindictive phrase, think about his or her feelings.
Even seemingly insignificant phrases such as: “You never help” or “You don’t do anything for this family” can pack a big punch.
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Seek a solution, not a debate.
Remember you are either part of the problem or part of the solution.
This works both ways!
If you believe your partner spends too much on the golf course, tell him how much you miss your weekly date night and BOOK IT IN.
If you think he never helps, tell him exactly what he can do to help you rather than expecting him to read your mind.
HOW TO CONTROL ANGER
TIP 3 – Envision the outcome.
What is the long term benefit of you allowing your anger to get the best of you?
Is there any benefit to it at all?
Giving your boss a piece of your mind may sound like a great idea at the time, but if it leads to you being terminated and you really depended on the security of a weekly paycheck maybe it would have been best to bite your tongue.
Remember you can be ASSERTIVE without being AGGRESSIVE.
- If your boss is placing unnecessary pressure on you to perform more than what is reasonable, it may be a better option to respectfully ask for more control over your responsibilities by asserting the reasons you’re a trustworthy employee.
HOW TO CONTROL ANGER
TIP 4 – Ask for help.
If you’re angry about a printer breaking down or the fact that you can’t carry ten bags of groceries in all by yourself, simply ask for help.
A lot of us get ourselves into trouble because we expect other people to be able to read our minds.
We expect others to know what we are thinking and feeling.
We expect them to instinctively give us the help we need, even though we haven’t explicitly asked for it.
(I know, I know, it comes back to the mind-reading thing because they should just KNOW we need help, right?)
The truth is sometimes we make it harder for ourselves by not asking for help when we need it.
Remember an outsider may be able to offer you a simple solution to your challenge and it may solve your problem promptly!
HOW TO CONTROL ANGER
TIP 5- Calmly explain your feelings.
When you are angry, take some time to compose yourself and think about what truly set off the flame.
Be very specific about the cause and work backwards until you make it to the root of the issue.
Sometimes, anger is a defensive mechanism to prevent the world from knowing your feelings have been hurt.
Remember, it’s perfectly acceptable to be vulnerable.
If you feel disrespected or hurt on the other hand, you deserve to have the issue addressed.
HOW TO CONTROL ANGER
TIP 6 – Take the high road.
I hate to say it but retaliation is a sign of immaturity.
If someone has intentionally wronged you, they likely did so in order to squeeze a frantic reaction out of you.
And guess what?
You are responding in the exact way they hoped you would – like you are a crazy person!
Show them instead that you’re the reasonable party in the situation by being calm, cool, and collected.
Try to manage your anger since other people sometimes can’t manage their stupidity.
When you can’t control what’s happening in the world around you challenge yourself to control the way you respond to what’s happening.
This is where your power lies.
HOW TO CONTROL ANGER
TIP 7- Laugh it up.
When you’re frustrated and tense, your body needs to exert energy.
We typically default to exerting negative energy.
But negative reactions simply add more fuel to the fire.
Consider diffusing the argument by laughing instead.
Laughter allows you to expel energy, while internally easing your frustration because the body recognizes laughter as a sign of joy.
Sometimes it’s best to LET IT GO.
Don’t be angry with people who don’t have the capacity or desire to change.
Instead of wasting your energy on hate, anger and resentment, invest your energy in love, forgiveness and contentment.
Anger ultimately doesn’t solve anything but it can destroy everything – if you consistently let it get the better of you.
By ensuring that your reactions are based on reason, rather than emotion, this is the most effective method of coping with anger.
Remember, anger doesn’t control you – you get to call the shots! You are in control of your thoughts, feelings and actions.
Emotionally detaching yourself from the situation at hand allows you to clear the smokescreen of personal resentment and focus on creating an amicable outcome.
In the end nobody makes you angry.
You get to make a choice about how you react to every situation in this world and you get to DECIDE if you want to use anger as your response.
Let me repeat that for you: YOU GET TO DECIDE.
Two final quotes to consider:
Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. Buddha
For every minute you remain angry, you give up sixty seconds of peace of mind. Ralph Waldo Emerson
You can have sixty seconds of peace or sixty seconds of anger – take your pick!
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I’m Frances Vidakovic – a mindset & action coach for quietly ambitious women who want to stop overthinking and finally take aligned action. I help women achieve their goals and follow through on what matters, without sacrificing their sanity or soul.