How to be Less Self-Conscious (Trust Me, No One Is Really Looking!)
Want to know how to stop being self conscious? Here are 7 simple strategies to stop caring what other people think.
Let’s chat about how to be less conscious.
I’m guessing you are here because you have felt this way before. If so, you know that it’s a pretty crappy feeling.
Fun fact: one of the reasons people are attracted to drugs and alcohol because these substances decrease their self-consciousness. But is that a good approach to take for dealing with self-consciousness?
NOPE! That only MASKS the problem and doesn’t work to solve it.
In this post I’ll be sharing with you alternative ways to stop being so self-conscious – strategies that are both simple and achievable.
For the record, self-consciousness is defined as the feeling of undue awareness of oneself, one’s appearance or their actions.
As a teen I remember feeling self-conscious all the time, but I have no idea how or why this feeling was magnified in me. The feeling of heightened awareness was just there and then thankfully over time it slowly dissipated.
Now that I’m a lot older that feeling of caring what anyone else thinks has passed but I understand that many adults do still struggle with self-consciousness.
If this is the case for you, you are in the right place!
Some things you need to know first:
How To Be Stop Being Self Conscious
Self-consciousness is usually the result of wanting to control the image other people have of you.
The first question you need to ask yourself is why you even care in the first place.
Caring what others think is a natural, default condition, possibly left over from your school days or childhood when your parents insisted on behaving in a way that didn’t embarrass them.
But you are an ADULT now and you have grown beyond that environment. It’s time to move on, embrace boldness and live your life on your own terms.
How To Be Stop Being Self Conscious
TIP # 1 – No one cares.
This can be good news or bad news depending on your perspective.
As soon as you catch yourself preoccupied with the thoughts and opinions of others, remind yourself that they’re too worried wondering what you’re thinking about them.
True! So please feel free to give yourself a break and relax.
Honestly – you are being judged less than you think.
- Studies have shown that people pay attention about half as much as you think they do.
- For example, in one study, college students were asked to wear an embarrassing t-shirt into class and then guess how many of their fellow students noticed the t-shirt.
- The guesses were approximately two times higher than the actual result (see, no one is really looking – everyone is too busy worrying and focusing on themselves!)
How To Be Stop Being Self Conscious
TIP # 2 – Failing to act or speak results in more regret than saying or doing something embarrassing.
Yeah I know – we all have a little pot filled with past regrets and chances that we moan about not taking but looking back at it, don’t you wish you had just taken the chance?
Thinking that we will be embarrassed is not nearly as traumatic as actually missing out.
Your confidence and courage are bruised every time you hold yourself back.
It’s one thing or other.
Either you suffer a little fear by stepping outside your comfort zone or you suffer the fate of living with the confines of a cage you have literally built around yourself.
All you need to do to get out of that cage is to open the door and step outside.
Remember you hold the key!
How To Be Stop Being Self Conscious
TIP # 3 – Ask yourself, “So?”
That inner voice that fears other people’s opinions will keep you paralyzed if you allow it to. Instead, turn the tables and ask “So?”
- “If I go to the beach, everyone will see my thighs.” “So?”
- But what if I fail? SO? Every mistake is just a lesson you can learn from.
- Instead of reacting emotionally to every event in your life, use a little logic and override your initial impulse. What’s the worst that can go wrong? Whatever it is you can and WILL deal with it.
- NEWS ALERT: In 200 years all the problems you are worrying about won’t even matter anymore.
How To Be Stop Being Self Conscious
TIP # 4 – Avoid comparisons between others and yourself.
The truth is most of us only notice the strengths of others while focusing our own weaknesses.
That is definitely the wrong approach to take in life!
We tend to ignore own strengths (big mistake) while overlooking the fact that other people have weaknesses too.
- Take note of your strengths and you’ll see just how great you are.
- Spend your time comparing your weaknesses to someone else’s strengths and you won’t feel good about yourself.
How To Be Stop Being Self Conscious
TIP # 5 – Pretend you’re confident even if you’re not.
Confident people TAKE ACTION. When you act, and discover that nothing bad really happens when you do, you’ll begin to develop real confidence.
Keep telling yourself that you’re a confident person.
Recite affirmations.
And no, you are not deluding yourself by saying this.
Confidence is a choice!
It comes from the thoughts you choose to think about yourself so WHY NOT CHOOSE CONFIDENT THOUGHTS?
Why not choose to believe in yourself?
- ACT AS IF! This is a little not-so-secret strategy also known as FAKE IT UNTIL YOU MAKE IT.
- Adopt the confident mannerisms and confident posture of a person who is CONFIDENT.
- Speak with confidence and authority. Do your best to eliminate doubt. It takes time to convince your brain that you’re a confident person, so start right away!
How To Be Stop Being Self Conscious
TIP # 6 – Take part in activities that excite you.
It’s easier to be bold when doing something that you really want to do.
Learn to be bold in the easiest way possible.
If you’ve always wanted to visit Rome, but fear international travel, traveling to Rome will be easier to accomplish than attempting something you fear, but have little interest in.
It’s easier to fight harder for something you really want in life.
Take the time now to think about the things you really want in life.
How To Be Stop Being Self Conscious
TIP # 7 – Try a new style on for size.
Quirky tip but sometimes change really is as good as a holiday.
Consider changing up your wardrobe or hairstyle.
Make changes that expand your view of yourself and others will begin to view you differently too.
This might make it easier to do and say the things that are on your mind.
Why?
Because when you view yourself differently, you give yourself permission to act differently.
How To Be Stop Being Self Conscious
Last few words of advice:
If you feel self conscious try not to beat yourself up about this.
Self-consciousness is totally normal and natural, but it’s also uncomfortable and potentially limiting.
I encourage you to do what you can to lessen its impact on your life.
Take a moment to imagine what your life would be like if you were able to stop caring about the opinions of others.
This is a battle that everyone in this world faces at some point and you need to win that battle in order to be truly free.
It all begins and ends in your mind.
Remember what you give your power to, has power over you, if you allow it.
Overthinking honestly ruins you, ruins the situation, twists things around, makes you worry and makes everything seem worse than it actually is.
You need to learn to ignore your social anxieties and be your true self.
Why?
How To Be Stop Being Self Conscious
Because nothing holds you back more than your own insecurities.
Insecurity has the potential to kill your spirit and your courage so please do your best to learn to let go of the lies that your insecurities trick you into believing.
One of the greatest joys in life is overcoming insecurity and learning to truly not give a sh#t about what other people think.
I wish you the best of luck with this endeavour – it is absolutely worth the effort!
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I’m Frances Vidakovic – a mindset & action coach for quietly ambitious women who want to stop overthinking and finally take aligned action. I help women achieve their goals and follow through on what matters, without sacrificing their sanity or soul.