parenting is hard

 

Parenting Is Hard – Why This Idea Isn’t The Worst Thing In The World

 

Do you secretly think parenting is hard? If so, don’t fret. This post shares with you why this idea isn’t the worst thing in the world.

 

 

Hey my friend,

Let’s chat about how parenting is hard.

In this post I want to share with you a chapter from my book WHEN BAD PARENTS – GREAT KIDS book, which is the perfect guide for imperfect parents.

 

The blurb for that book is as follows:

 

Many adults today have noted that their parents were less than perfect parents whilst growing up. But did we buckle under this inept parenting?Were we permanently scarred by this experience?

Did we suffer forever due to their fault-filled parenting skills? Ah no. Most of us still believe we turned out to be great kids, more resilient and stronger than ever, despite our blemished childhoods. CONVERSELY there are kids who literally seemed to HAVE IT ALL and still grew up to be total ratbags.

 

– They had more freedom than Madonna would know what to do with.

– They got handed the keys to their first car the day they turned sixteen.

– They lived in the biggest mansions.

– They had the coolest, nicest parents.

– They lived the dream life of every popular kid characterised in all the best teen movies – from “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off” to “Clueless”.

 

And yet, somewhere along the line SOMETHING WENT WRONG. Not ALL THE TIME of course.

But there are plenty “good” parents, who generously gave their kids the moon and stars, and were later left scratching their heads at the brats they spawned.

 

WHEN BAD PARENTS = GREAT KIDS QUESTIONS THE FOLLOWING HYPOTHESIS:

 

IF: Bad parenting “supposedly” = bad kidsGood parenting “supposedly” = good kidsHow come it sometimes goes the other way?

 

WHAT IF EVERYTHING YOU THINK IS TERRIBLE ISN’T REALLY SO TERRIBLE?

 

What if you can technically still be a good parent, even when society deems some of your parenting behaviors less than desirable?

With over 300 pages, this book is for any parent who has ever wondered if their less-than-perfecting parenting skills may be causing permanent damage to their kids.It is also for any parent who needs to know the truth – that sometimes good-enough parenting is actually more-than-enough.

You can find the book below:

 

 

 

 

So in this post I want to share with you the 9th truth bomb chapter which is this:

 

PARENTING IS HARD

 

GOOD PARENTS:

Make parenting look easy.

 

BAD PARENTS:

Know parenting is hard.

 

PARENTING IS HARD

LET’S START WITH THE “GOOD” PARENTS

 

“Good” parents have a very powerful impact on the general public in one of two ways.

1 – They make expecting parents sigh with relief and think “man, what are we worried about? Parenting is going to be a PIECE OF CAKE – we so have this covered.”

2 – They make other currently-deep-in-the-trenches parents feel like total crap and as if they are failing at their job of raising their kids.

PARENTING IS HARD

 

“Good” parents have kids who sleep through the night from day one.

“Good” parents never look frazzled (probably because their baby is sleeping through the night).

“Good” parents are relaxed.

“Good” parents don’t complain.

“Good” parents could have 1-10 kids and still not skip a beat. 

“Good” parents are the ENVY of the town, a rare species that we all wish we could embody.

 

PARENTING IS HARD

“BAD” PARENTS ON THE OTHER HAND

 

  • “Bad” parents think there must be something inherently wrong with them when they look at the “good” parents gliding through life, without messing up even a single piece of their perfect hair.

 

  • “Bad” parents question their parenting skills.

 

  • “Bad” parents sometimes struggle to hold it together.

 

  • “Bad” parents feel lucky just to score a shower when their kids are still young.

 

  • “Bad” parents put on a brave face even on the darkest days.

 

  • “Bad” parents quickly learn that they could not survive without some help.

 

  • “Bad” parents know that they are fallible.

 

  • “Bad” parents know that parenting is secretly the hardest job in the world.

 

 

To “bad” parents, parenting is full of worry and stress and heartache and love – such deep love.

 

 

It is also mixed with hope and fear and a lack of sleep, among other things.

If they ever accidentally make parenting look easy to the outside world, they know it is just an illusion.

Step behind the curtain and you will soon see just how hard parenting is…the never-ending piles of laundry and washing and cleaning and school stuff. 

You surrender part of your life to your kids – give them your heart, sanity and soul – only to have to set them free eighteen years later into the world. 

 

PARENTING IS HARD

WHY BEING A “GOOD” PARENT IN THIS EXAMPLE MAY SOMETIMES BACKFIRE 

 

It is one thing for a “good” parent to make parenting look easy because he or she was really born with a freakish ability to never get annoyed and/or they have a never-ending amount of chill-pills at their disposal.

And yes, I have no doubt that some of these genuine “good” parents exist out there in this world (after all, every species has its rarities!)

It is yet another for a “good” parent to put on a fake front when he or she is really struggling beneath the surface.

 

Why hide the struggles?

Why not admit that you too are human? 

 

Come and join the “parenting is hard work and we know it” club.

Here’s what “good” parents need to know: they are in the minority. For the vast majority of moms and dads parenting is in fact hard work.

Now I don’t mean hard work as in; I physically and mentally work like a donkey all day long before collapsing into bed totally exhausted each night hard work.

Or maybe I do mean that. Seriously, that sounds awfully similar to my daily routine when my kids were aged between zero and five years. Been there, done that.

 

PARENTING IS HARD

Here’s the thing:

 

I know it’s a weird thing admitting that parenting can be hard work (then why did you have kids then if it’s so damn hard, I can hear the naysayers asking.) 

 

PLEASE NOTE that doesn’t mean the hard work isn’t enjoyable or worth it.

 

 

 

Let me explain using a personal example. In case you haven’t guessed, I’m a writer. 

 

In fact, people are often surprised to hear that I have published another 20 books during my career. Yes 20! 

Now you would think that after 20 books and over 1000 blog posts on my website I would be an adept writer, who types manuscripts out while I sleep.

But that’s not the case. Writing books, whether it is book one or book twenty-one, is honestly still such a painful process for me. I find it mentally and emotionally draining and sometimes producing new content is like getting blood out of a stone.

 

PARENTING IS HARD

BUT AT THE SAME TIME I LOVE DOING IT.

 

Maybe I’m a sadist but I keep going back for more. I find writing so fulfilling and it gives me the greatest pleasure, seeing how I can weave random words together to create something special.

It is hard work yes, but it is worth every single second that I spend doing it. I wouldn’t trade it for the world. 

Same goes for parenting.

Same goes for other people who create works of art and build infrastructure.

Same goes for golf – my husband says it is an intensely hard game but that doesn’t stop him from playing it. 

Same goes for chess and soccer and every other sport in the world. They are all tough games to play at a competitive level but the players keep playing it.

 

PARENTING IS HARD

Let me explain some of the virtues and rewards of HARD WORK:

 

The fruit of your own hard work is the sweetest. Deepika Padukone

Hard work isn’t a punishment; it’s a gift. Frank Sonnenberg

Without hard work nothing grows but weeds. Gordon B. Hinckley

Nothing in life that’s worth anything is easy. Barack Obama

Working hard for something we don’t care about is called stress. Working hard for something we love is called passion. Simon Sinek

 

PARENTING IS HARD

 

So the next time you hear a “bad” parent say that “parenting is hard work” that doesn’t mean:

 

They are whinging and whining. 

Or that they would trade in their kids.

Or that they don’t LOVE their kids.

They are simply stating the truth.

And they know that the hard work IS WORTH IT.

 

Want to read more bad parenting myths and truth bombs?

 

You can do so here:

 

 

 

Much love,

Frances Vidakovic 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Before You Go…

 

  • Grab your free gift: How To Stop Self-Sabotaging Yourself Guide (4 steps to finally get out of your own way) CLICK HERE
  • Decide which course will suit you best CLICK HERE
  • Listen to my Inspiring Mom Life podcast on Spotify or via Apple Podcasts.