Low Self Esteem – 10 Causes And How It Hurts Your Life
Think you have low self esteem? Here are 10 causes of low self esteem and the ways it will impact your life today.
Let’s chat about low self esteem…
If you feel like you might suffer from low self-esteem and not sure where your feelings of inadequacy have come from, you’re in the right place!
For the record there are many potential sources of low self-esteem, some stemming from our early years in life.
It has been said that we spend the last 60 years of life recovering from the first 18.
In many cases, the first 18 years of life give our self-esteem a beating.
Many people expect that they will be able to shrug off their self-esteem issues when they reach adulthood. But then they get there and realize it’s like a monkey on your back or a shadow that simply refuses to go away.
LOW SELF-ESTEEM
The sad thing is nothing holds you back more than your own insecurities.
If you still struggle with self-esteem issues, please know that there are numerous ways you can increase your confidence in adulthood. It is definitely possible!
Self-confidence is the first requisite to great undertakings. Samuel Johnson
Self-esteem is made up primarily of two things: feeling lovable and feeling capable. Jack Canfield
Self –esteem is the most fragile attribute in human nature. It can be damaged by very minor incidents, and its reconstruction is often difficult to engineer. Dr. James Dobson
If you make this improvement your priority, you may be pleasantly surprised to find that everything around you is positively impacted too – from your social life to finances, relationships to your general feelings of happiness.
But first things first – you need to find out what is the cause of your low self-esteem.
Let’s take a look now at the 10 causes of low self-esteem.
If you struggle with low self-esteem, pay attention to what you feel is or was the problem for you:
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POTENTIAL CAUSE # 1: Peers.
This is especially true during the school-age years, but can apply to adults as well.
It’s natural to want to be respected and liked by one’s peers.
Bullying, teasing, and other social-related issues can often result in a loss of self-esteem.
All I can say to this is IGNORE THE HATERS.
It doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks (it really doesn’t).
LOW SELF-ESTEEM
POTENTIAL CAUSE # 2: Family.
Some say blood is thicker than water.
Other says you can choose your friends but you can’t choose your family.
Unfortunately the harsh truth is some parents just aren’t nice people.
Unsupportive, critical parents or other family members do exist in this world and they can seriously harm a child’s self-esteem.
This can then be carried into adulthood.
If your parents were less than spectacular, remember that you’re not alone.
Blood might make you related but loyalty and kindness is what truly makes a family.
How a person treats their family says a lot about their character.
At some point you have to realize that some people can stay in your heart but not in your life.
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POTENTIAL CAUSE # 3: Previous mistakes.
Everyone makes mistakes, but some people have a tendency to forgive themselves more easily than others.
If you hold onto these mistakes and assume this determines something about your character, please note it may contribute to a low self-esteem.
The past is over. Look forward to new experiences.
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POTENTIAL CAUSE # 4: Negative recurring thoughts.
Negative thought patterns over years and decades can also create a negative self-image.
You know why?
Because you can never win an argument with a negative person because they only hear what suits them (hopefully you are not that negative person!)
That’s why it’s so important to say positive things to yourself.
Avoid underestimating the power of your thoughts.
Train your mind to see the good in everything.
Positivity is a choice and the happiness of your life depends on the quality of your thoughts.
Once you replace negative thoughts with positive ones, you will start seeing positive results.
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POTENTIAL CAUSE # 5: Failure.
Whether you failed to win the big game or land the big client, any perceived failure can result in a loss of confidence and self-esteem.
What you need to do now is reframe how you view failure.
Learn from your undesirable results.
Only get upset with yourself if you continue to fail in the same manner (and then get up and try again!).
Change your approach again and again if it isn’t working.
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POTENTIAL CAUSE # 6: Unreasonable goals.
Word of warning: Goals that are too big may lead to failure.
Ensure that your goals are challenging, but also within reason for you.
Avoid getting carried away with thinking you are like some super human, when the truth is it’s really not possible to do EVERYTHING AT ONCE.
This simply increases the likelihood of a negative outcome and poor self-esteem.
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POTENTIAL CAUSE # 7: Body Image.
I wish it wasn’t the case but society has a tendency to judge people based on their appearance.
You might be doing the same to yourself.
Strive your expectations towards a healthy ideal, but accept that everyone is also shaped differently and change can take time.
Females are more likely to suffer from body image issues, but that isn’t to say that males can’t also face challenges.
Yet here’s the thing – the problem isn’t with your body; the problem is what you think of it and what you think of yourself.
You have been criticizing yourself for years and it hasn’t worked. Try approving yourself and see what happens. Louise Hay
Don’t let your mind bully your body. June Tomaso Wood
You are imperfect, permanently and inevitably flawed. And you are beautiful. Amy Bloom
Not one drop of my self-worth depends on your acceptance of me. Quincy Jones
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POTENTIAL CAUSE # 8: Trauma.
Trauma can take many forms: sexual, physical, or emotional and any of these are significant enough to result in low self-esteem.
If you’re suffering from the results of a traumatic experience, please consider getting professional help.
You need to be willing to help yourself get help if you feel you need it.
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POTENTIAL CAUSE # 9: Poor academic performance.
School has a massive social component to it but let’s be honest, it’s supposed to be about the academics.
Poor grades can be viewed as failing the purpose of attending school in the first place and contribute to low self-esteem.
If you are a parent, please ensure that your child has the academic support they need to feel confident (only if that’s what is important to them!
If you are an adult who didn’t go well at school…hopefully you know the deal by now.
Grades aren’t everything in life!
What makes a child gifted and talented may not always be good grades in school, but a different way of looking at the world and learning. Chuck Grassley
Education is what remains after one has forgotten what one has learned in school. Albert Einstein
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POTENTIAL CAUSE # 10: Media.
Yes we see it everywhere on the newsstands and magazine shelves.
The media puts forth these crazy images of success and beauty that are typically out of reach for the average person.
It doesn’t help either that many of those images are manufactured and inaccurate (hello Photoshop!).
Holding yourself to this unreasonable standard may also cause you to feel bad about yourself.
If you must compare yourself to someone, I really encourage you to use a reasonable frame of reference.
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So there you have it – the top 10 most common causes of low self-esteem.
If you have low self-esteem did you recognize what might have contributed to it for you?
Is this an issue that can still be dealt with effectively, even though lots of time has passed?
Understanding the cause of your low opinion of yourself can help to determine the solution.
It needs to be said that everyone deals with low self-esteem days.
But suffering from a deflated confidence in yourself over a long period of time can lead to depression.
Examine your past and find the source of your negative self-image.
If you do suffer from low self-esteem, you will need to develop a plan for changing your feelings about yourself.
It’s time to finally focus on the positive and let go of the past.
Low self-esteem is like driving through life with your hand-brake on. Maxwell Maltz
Doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will
You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection. Buddha.
A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval. Mark Twain
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I’m Frances Vidakovic – a mindset & action coach for quietly ambitious women who want to stop overthinking and finally take aligned action. I help women achieve their goals and follow through on what matters, without sacrificing their sanity or soul.