Assertive Discipline – 4 Ways To Discipline With Love
Interested in assertive discipline? Here are 4 ways to discipline your kids without ever losing their love.
Let’s chat about assertive discipline.
Teaching discipline is tough if you want to stay close with your kids too!
Here are 4 ways to discipline your kids without losing their love.
Here’s the thing about being a parent, you know that it’s hard work!
Parenting is a real job that few other jobs can compare to.
It’s especially hard when it feels like you’re losing your children’s love.
I mean, as a parent, you want your children to grow up to be the best they can be, right?
Our kids all have the potential to be amazing human beings but they also need our guidance to tap into their magic light.
Here’s the thing: sometimes, you will have to reprimand your children so they learn the difference between acceptable and unacceptable behavior.
This approach isn’t always very popular with kids – particularly the ones who think they know it all!
Especially when your kids are in the rebellious stage, your approach to parenting is going to be crucial.
Yes, you’re in charge while they’re under your roof.
But how you teach them now can determine how well the lesson is absorbed and applied later in life.
Try these tips for parenting and reprimanding without losing your children’s love:
TEACHING DISCIPLINE WITH LOVE
1 – Encourage open communication.
You’ll have a great relationship with your kids if you continually encourage open communication.
Yes, open communication means you have to keep the communication lines open with your kids.
In both positive and challenging situations, your desire to keep communication open will define your relationship with your children.
- Ask your child about experiences at school each day. Show interest in whatever they do. Listen to them – truly listen to them – when they are opening up to you.
- When you encourage open communication with your child, they’ll feel more comfortable talking to you about anything. They’ll want to come to you for help with their challenges. Let your kids know that you are here for them and ready and willing to listen to them when they would like to chat.
- If you consistently encourage honest, open discussions, it shows that you recognize your child’s maturity and individuality.
- Remember kids always like to feel older than they are! If they are ready to have mature conversations, don’t step back or be nervous. Your child is growing and evolving right in front of you.
TEACHING DISCIPLINE WITH LOVE
2 – Listen to their point of view.
When you’re reprimanding your child, it’s still important to listen to their point of view.
Show them that even though you have the final word, you still respect their words and opinions. You do care about what they have to say.
- It’s easier to gain compliance from your children when you listen to them. It also encourages open and honest discussions, even though you’ve already laid down the law.
- Listening to your kids also helps to keep you in check, too! If you were a little too stern with your kids, they’ll definitely want you to know that! It could help you assess your parenting skills as well. It’s okay to admit if you did something potentially wrong. Just say I’M SORRY and be prepared to move on.
- Your child’s point of view may also help you look at situations differently. After all, it’s possible that you could have been incorrect or misinformed. How can you show up as a parent with love? How can you show up with less judgement?
TEACHING DISCIPLINE WITH LOVE
3 – Be firm without anger.
It’s important to learn how to be firm without becoming angry with your children.
You’ll likely get some back talk, but avoid allowing that to fuel your anger. Focus on parenting first!
- If you’re angry, wait until you’ve cooled down before reprimanding your child. It’s easy to say the wrong things when you’re angry. You want to ensure you’re conveying the appropriate message.
- Ensure that the seriousness of the situation is communicated even if you aren’t angry. You want to avoid being taken lightly in the midst of a serious situation.
TEACHING DISCIPLINE WITH LOVE
4 – Share your experiences.
When reprimanding, it helps to share your own childhood experiences.
Spend some time telling your child what happened to you in similar situations.
Explain the impact of making one choice over the other.
What are the main stories that surface for you from your childhood?
What are the experiences you learned the most from?
What impact have these experiences had upon your life?
- Remember your child will have more appreciation of your reprimanding when you share stories of similar experiences because it makes them feel like your position is based on actual experience rather than a desire to punish them!
- FYI: You can use other people’s experiences to also bring the point home. What experiences and wisdom have you learned from others? You can find ways to show how a bad decision can lead to terrible outcomes.
In the end, your kids definitely won’t be little forever.
I promise you, as a mom of two teens I have seen first-hand how they grow up so fast.
As your kids grow up and learn independence, your influence may slowly diminish but that doesn’t mean your presence and influence still isn’t important to them.
Now’s the time to ensure you instill good values in your children that will last a lifetime.
Just remember to do it lovingly so your relationship continues to flourish.
So ask yourself: how do you want to show up as a mom?
How can you show up with love even when your kids aren’t behaving?
That really is the most important question of all to ask yourself.
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I’m Frances Vidakovic – a mindset & action coach for quietly ambitious women who want to stop overthinking and finally take aligned action. I help women achieve their goals and follow through on what matters, without sacrificing their sanity or soul.